By Philip Cairns


Copyright 2009 by Philip Cairns


Chesty Morgan contemplated having breast reduction surgery

And looking for a McJob.

Her huge breasts hung down so low

She was unable to cook breakfast on the stove.

Her tits would flop out of her negligee

And end up plopped into the frying pan,

Scrambling the eggs and burning her nipples.


At the age of 75,

They almost reached down to her labia.

Chesty had deep indentations on her shoulders

From the weight pressing down on her bra straps.


I bought a DVD, from the Net, of Chesty Morgan’s two starring roles on film.

Not porn, just campy soft-core exploitation silliness.

No sex, just lots of bare boobs.

I was fascinated by her appendages.

Chesty possesses the largest breasts I have ever seen in my life.

I sat mesmerized, as if I were watching the landing of a UFO.


She made her living from those ta-tas

But it must have been a nuisance to own them.

It would be like carrying 50 pounds of groceries with you

Everywhere you went.


In these two movies, Chesty wears bad blonde wigs,

Hideous, flowery Seventies clothes and five inch platform heels.

Her voice is dubbed because of her thick Polish accent,

I am told.


Is she the eighth Wonder of the World?

Having sex with her would be like screwing a waterbed!

Her teeth are kind of rotten at the back

Making me wonder if she has dragon breath.

The midriff bulge spills over the sides of her tight skirts.

Her breasts cascade out of the front of her enormous brassiere.


The screen is saturated with washed out reds and turquoise

Because the film stock has deteriorated in 35 years.

The tinny music reminds me of my wild youth.

I’m sure millions of men would love a wife with tits that big.


I want to meet Chesty Morgan and ask her about her stripping career.

I understand that, even to this day,

Pushing 80,

She still gardens in a halter top,

Frightening the neighbourhood children

And giving guilty boners to all the frustrated teenage boys.


Chesty was in Fellini’s “Casanova” but ended up on the cutting room floor.

You can watch a clip from the outtakes on YouTube.

A friend of mine went to see her strip at the Victory Burlesque Theatre on Spadina

Back in the late Seventies, when she was hot.


Chesty, you are a work of art, my dear.

A trailer trash diva made of fine cut crystal.

Bless you.